Thoughts on the Death of Oscar Niemeyer

Today’s blog will be written as an account of a fictional conversation between my flatmate Steve and I. The story you are about to read is fake, only the names are real to incriminate the innocent.

Even though the heating has been on for hours our living room remains freezing cold. My porridge is cooling much too rapidly and that is sapping what slim enjoyment I can derive from it. This morning I had to make it with water instead of milk because we are out of milk. Apparently Scottish people make porridge with water instead of milk but this sounds crazy to me.

“Oscar Niemeyer died”

I look up, from my bowl of gruel. Steve is sat on his sofa watching the news and drinking a cup of coffee. We are indoors and he is wearing a hat, a scarf, gloves, a hoody (hood up), and a jacket.

“What?” I grunt. No milk means no tea, I can’t be expected to remain civil in these conditions.

“Oscar Niemeyer, the architect. He died.” He replies between sips of coffee.

I thought he was dead.

“I though he was dead?” I say.

“That’s what I said, he died.”

“No I mean I thought he had died already. I'm surprised he died because he was dead already.”

It is too early in the morning for this sort of metaphysical discussion. It is 9:30 AM. I can see my own breath when I speak. I decide I need to clarify.

“It’s kind of like Sidney Poitier.”

There is another pause.

“Is he dead?” Ste asks.

“No he isn't dead, but he’s the sort of person you expect to be dead. Him, and Peter O’Toole, and Oscar Niemeyer. You think they are all dead so it would be surprising if they died.”

“Oscar Niemeyer is dead though.”

The silence returns, I scoop more porridge into my mouth. It is now room temperature and the room is freezing.

“Also Sidney Poitier is definitely dead.” He says.

I can’t respond for a moment as the porridge has become like glue in my mouth and I have no tea to clear the blockage.

“Sidney Poitier isn't dead” I sputter through cold clods of oat “he’s the Bahamian ambassador to Japan.”

“What does Bahamian mean?”

“Someone from the Bahamas”

“Oh that’s weird.”

Ste switches the channel from News 24 to Star Trek. It’s the one where Riker has sex with an alien who has no gender. I wonder if Ste thought it was weird that Sidney Poitier was alive, or whether it was weird that he was the ambassador to Japan, or whether it was weird that people from the Bahamas are called Bahamians.

I decide not to ask.