Barry had to admit that Steve was right, he was out of control. Maybe once it had been about hard work and dedication, after all it was in his blood, but now? Now it was about the parties, the fast cars, the fast women, the drink, and yes even the drugs. It was a glamorous lifestyle, so what if he was having fun? You only lived once and as far as Barry was concerned you had to make the best of it. But now Steve was riding his back.
“You’ve been late to practice too many times” he snarled “the rest of us are professionals, I know the other guys are committed, but you’re never around. Every town we go to we’re putting in the hard work and you’re at another party, in another girl’s bed.” Barry knew he could detect more than a little jealousy in Steve’s voice and he couldn’t blame him; he knew that he was the one who was really having fun.
“This is the end of the line Barry, me and the boys just can’t handle you and your lack of respect any more. You’re out for good.” Maybe it was the cocaine talking but Barry couldn’t give a damn. The way he worked was what morris dancing was really about: passion, violence. Anarchy.
Barry was out of control because he had to be and Steve wouldn’t understand. Steve could never understand.
Saturday 24 December 2011
Story Corner
Here's a story I apparently wrote last night and it's actually kind of amazing. It's about living on the edge.
Saturday 17 December 2011
Written from the sick bed of Mr G.N. Thomas Esq., BA., MA.
My post this week involves arcane robes, pyramids, and strange stories told in darkened rooms amongst many other things. With this in mind I want to make clear that I haven't become a freemason (or maybe I have and am hiding it from you?) No.)) Still it does all sound a bit mysterious doesn't it? And maybe it will explain why I haven't had time to do anything for ANGER TUESDAY or the midweek music update or even the much awaited cooking with G, or at least I hope it will because I consider myself a dab hand at coming up with excuses for not writing and I don't want my illusions to be shattered. Unfortunately as I haven't written anything all week this will probably be a long one, but please dear reader push ahead, it's worth it. Honestly.
Arcane Robes
So Monday was my second graduation, and because of that I am now officially a Master of Arts in International Political Economy. I have a fancy bit of paper to prove it and everything! Although in a way this graduation can be considered a bit more important it was actually a lot less stressful, probably because I've done it all before when I got my bachelors and so I'm now a bit of an expert at the whole dressing funny and getting a piece of paper business. In fact going in I couldn't really give a damn about he fact I was getting a masters. Far more important in my opinion was that I had managed to do up a tie on my own with no help.
Honestly this is a really big achievement for me; I never had a school tie so didn't pick up the skill at a young age, my hand eye coordination is almost non-existant, and I have trouble understanding the concept of mirrors. But after about half and hour of trying I finally managed to make myself look presentable and that small miracle set me in a good mood for the rest of the day.
The actual business of getting the piece of paper, once you are through with the incredibly tedious speaches from the senior faculty, is over pretty quickly. Then comes the whole point of the day: partying. This starts of with a stereotypical photo of everyone throwing their stupid hats in the air (I could go on at length about how much I hate the stupid hats). After that I went out for drinks and dinner with my Mum and Dad to Giorgio on Portland Street (very good, not overly expensive). At this point I also should mention my awesome new coat which my parents gave me as a present: a knee length 50's vintage overcoat, it's awesome and is basically all I ever wanted in a coat.
After the gentle start the real partying started when I headed back down to the uni for some drinks with my fellow graduates. Now I won't go in to too much detail about what went on, both to spare people any embarrasment and to avoid any legal complications, but it's fair to say we partied right and then we possibly partied too right. Regardless of what happened I decided it would be a good idea to walk home in the damp and freezing cold at about half six in the morning and then wake up to see my parents at about midday for lunch. This was not a good idea.
It will not surprise you to know that upon seeing my hungover dishevelled form my parents didn't decide to stay for lunch but instead left about as fast as they possibly could to see my aunt for lunch in Birmingham instead and I don't blame them in the slightest.
Strange Stories
I obviously wrote off the whole of Tuesday as a hangover day and moped around the flat trying to do as little of anything that might involve any sort of effort. By Wednesday I was back on my feet and only as lazy as I normally am. Also I'd just like to say at this point that bar Monday I think everyday this week I tried to do Christmas shopping and never quite got round to it.
The exciting event of Wednesday was brought about by my friend Nija who pointed out that we should probably hang out before she went home to Atlanta for the holidays and that (I'm sure) quite coincidentally she was telling a story at the Castle Hotel that evening and that would be the perfect place to hang out, after getting Mexican food of course (Poncho's at the Arndale Market, cheap and delicious).
The event at the Castle was a relatively new night called Tales of Whatever, the website sums it up but basically people tell true life stories without any notes or prompts. There were some great stories and the Castle always has a great atmosphere and great beer. Nija told a brilliant story about her parents, and then just after her there was an open mic slot. Now I've been to things at the Castle before, having gone along to Bad Language quite a lot over the last year, but I've never had the guts to go up on stage before. For some reason on Wednesday I did it anyway and gave a... mostly true account of my time in Saudi Arabia (some things may have been slightly exaggerated for comedic and dramatic affect).
Much to my surprise rather than being booed off stage and kicked out of the venue I actually got a round of applause and was asked to come back again! I'm slightly worried that this will all go to my head but it has definitely given me a bit of a spring in my step finding out that people like to hear me prattle on and has also convinced me that I really need to finish some of the stories I've started and never got round to finishing so I can read those at people at some point.
Pyramids
On Thursday afternoon I had a job interview. Or at least I thought I did. Throughout Wednesday night I tossed and turned with a horrible fever, at one point dreaming I was a cast member in Seinfeld, at another point getting up and sleepwalking which as far as I'm aware I've never done before. This should have been an omen. I woke up on Thursday feeling possibly more awful than I'd even felt on Tuesday, even worse knowing that I had this job interview looming over me in a couple of hours.
I decided some preparation was necessary so I looked up the company. They had a weird and crap website which all looked very cheap and badly made. I was feeling a bit paranoid but decided it was probably just the fever and I should have a shower and some ibuprofen before I judged.
And then came the Google search and the words "pyramid scheme". And not just once, a whole load of people linking these guys in with a pyramid scheme. I guess I didn't want to give up on hope entirely, I've been job hunting for ages and these were the first people who had actually offered me anything so I decided to call them and let them make their case. The conversation went something like this.
"Hi I read some things about your company on the internet a-"
*click* beep
It was shit luck and combined with the cold, the crappy weather and the fact I had to go to the job centre later that day it put me in a foul mood and one that didn't exactly inspire good blog writing.
and in conclusion
As I write to you dear reader I am wrapped up warm in bed, the cold seems to be abating, and yesterday evening I had dinner with friends (Tampopo on Albert Square, slightly overpriced and I think Umami on Oxford Road tastes better) and then stuffed my face with fresh macaroons from the Chrsitmas Market (some stall at the christmas market, amazing because macaroons), and all in all I can say that it hasn't really been that bad a week. Some things weren't great and I definitely hope they don't happen again but maybe even bad experiences can make a story worth telling and to be honest they were totally counterbalanced by all the great things and great people that made up the good times.
And on that note I'd like to say thanks to the ever lovely Miss Lucy Boucher, blogger extraordinaire, who inspired me to finally get round to writing this all down. Thanks Lu. You should really read her stuff she is a lot better at this than me.
Arcane Robes
So Monday was my second graduation, and because of that I am now officially a Master of Arts in International Political Economy. I have a fancy bit of paper to prove it and everything! Although in a way this graduation can be considered a bit more important it was actually a lot less stressful, probably because I've done it all before when I got my bachelors and so I'm now a bit of an expert at the whole dressing funny and getting a piece of paper business. In fact going in I couldn't really give a damn about he fact I was getting a masters. Far more important in my opinion was that I had managed to do up a tie on my own with no help.
Honestly this is a really big achievement for me; I never had a school tie so didn't pick up the skill at a young age, my hand eye coordination is almost non-existant, and I have trouble understanding the concept of mirrors. But after about half and hour of trying I finally managed to make myself look presentable and that small miracle set me in a good mood for the rest of the day.
The actual business of getting the piece of paper, once you are through with the incredibly tedious speaches from the senior faculty, is over pretty quickly. Then comes the whole point of the day: partying. This starts of with a stereotypical photo of everyone throwing their stupid hats in the air (I could go on at length about how much I hate the stupid hats). After that I went out for drinks and dinner with my Mum and Dad to Giorgio on Portland Street (very good, not overly expensive). At this point I also should mention my awesome new coat which my parents gave me as a present: a knee length 50's vintage overcoat, it's awesome and is basically all I ever wanted in a coat.
Your humble author shakes the handof an oddly dressed woman,while dressed oddlyAfter the gentle start the real partying started when I headed back down to the uni for some drinks with my fellow graduates. Now I won't go in to too much detail about what went on, both to spare people any embarrasment and to avoid any legal complications, but it's fair to say we partied right and then we possibly partied too right. Regardless of what happened I decided it would be a good idea to walk home in the damp and freezing cold at about half six in the morning and then wake up to see my parents at about midday for lunch. This was not a good idea.
It will not surprise you to know that upon seeing my hungover dishevelled form my parents didn't decide to stay for lunch but instead left about as fast as they possibly could to see my aunt for lunch in Birmingham instead and I don't blame them in the slightest.
Strange Stories
I obviously wrote off the whole of Tuesday as a hangover day and moped around the flat trying to do as little of anything that might involve any sort of effort. By Wednesday I was back on my feet and only as lazy as I normally am. Also I'd just like to say at this point that bar Monday I think everyday this week I tried to do Christmas shopping and never quite got round to it.
The exciting event of Wednesday was brought about by my friend Nija who pointed out that we should probably hang out before she went home to Atlanta for the holidays and that (I'm sure) quite coincidentally she was telling a story at the Castle Hotel that evening and that would be the perfect place to hang out, after getting Mexican food of course (Poncho's at the Arndale Market, cheap and delicious).
The event at the Castle was a relatively new night called Tales of Whatever, the website sums it up but basically people tell true life stories without any notes or prompts. There were some great stories and the Castle always has a great atmosphere and great beer. Nija told a brilliant story about her parents, and then just after her there was an open mic slot. Now I've been to things at the Castle before, having gone along to Bad Language quite a lot over the last year, but I've never had the guts to go up on stage before. For some reason on Wednesday I did it anyway and gave a... mostly true account of my time in Saudi Arabia (some things may have been slightly exaggerated for comedic and dramatic affect).
Much to my surprise rather than being booed off stage and kicked out of the venue I actually got a round of applause and was asked to come back again! I'm slightly worried that this will all go to my head but it has definitely given me a bit of a spring in my step finding out that people like to hear me prattle on and has also convinced me that I really need to finish some of the stories I've started and never got round to finishing so I can read those at people at some point.
Pyramids
On Thursday afternoon I had a job interview. Or at least I thought I did. Throughout Wednesday night I tossed and turned with a horrible fever, at one point dreaming I was a cast member in Seinfeld, at another point getting up and sleepwalking which as far as I'm aware I've never done before. This should have been an omen. I woke up on Thursday feeling possibly more awful than I'd even felt on Tuesday, even worse knowing that I had this job interview looming over me in a couple of hours.
I decided some preparation was necessary so I looked up the company. They had a weird and crap website which all looked very cheap and badly made. I was feeling a bit paranoid but decided it was probably just the fever and I should have a shower and some ibuprofen before I judged.
And then came the Google search and the words "pyramid scheme". And not just once, a whole load of people linking these guys in with a pyramid scheme. I guess I didn't want to give up on hope entirely, I've been job hunting for ages and these were the first people who had actually offered me anything so I decided to call them and let them make their case. The conversation went something like this.
"Hi I read some things about your company on the internet a-"
*click* beep
It was shit luck and combined with the cold, the crappy weather and the fact I had to go to the job centre later that day it put me in a foul mood and one that didn't exactly inspire good blog writing.
and in conclusion
As I write to you dear reader I am wrapped up warm in bed, the cold seems to be abating, and yesterday evening I had dinner with friends (Tampopo on Albert Square, slightly overpriced and I think Umami on Oxford Road tastes better) and then stuffed my face with fresh macaroons from the Chrsitmas Market (some stall at the christmas market, amazing because macaroons), and all in all I can say that it hasn't really been that bad a week. Some things weren't great and I definitely hope they don't happen again but maybe even bad experiences can make a story worth telling and to be honest they were totally counterbalanced by all the great things and great people that made up the good times.
And on that note I'd like to say thanks to the ever lovely Miss Lucy Boucher, blogger extraordinaire, who inspired me to finally get round to writing this all down. Thanks Lu. You should really read her stuff she is a lot better at this than me.
Saturday 10 December 2011
Exploring my Notebooks
One of the things I always like to do is carry around a notebook. Most of the time I just use it to make sure I remember important stuff; dates, names, numbers, that sort of thing, but occasionally I use them to write down what I'm thinking about at the time. I wouldn't really call it a diary because for one thing I'll sometimes find myself writing in it just about every day and at other times I won't even look at it for months on end, so as a record of my life it's pretty patchy. Added to that a lot of it isn't about what I'm doing or where I am but rather what I'm think about it. Either way sometimes just writing stuff down is kind of nice even if you don't ever expect anyone else to ever read it. I suppose you could say that it's therapeutic in it's own way.
It's also handy because when I'm stumped for things to talk about I can flick through the notebook and usually find something, or at least find a bit of inspiration. The same thing goes for writing and quite a lot of the things I'm planning on talking about in this blog come from things I've jotted down in my notebooks at some point or another. Obviously not all the stuff in there I want to share, some of it is quite personal, some of it would probably be pretty boring to anyone who isn't me, some of it is horribly mopey and introspective to the extent that even I get embarrassed when I read it, and of course some of it will one day form the basis of that novel I'm going to write that will make me the most respected author of my generation. No seriously. Stop laughing.
But in addition to all of the above there are a few that I want to share with the world but which I probably couldn't stretch out to make an entire worthwhile blog post. So here for the first time are a few of those scribblings, exposed to the world in as close as I could reasonably get to their original form.
_________________________________
Thoughts on a T-Rex, which is not actually real but is in fact a replica made of plaster
The thing that always amazes me about this replica T-Rex skeleton, and about dinosaurs in general, is not the size (which is big) or how terrifying it must of looked (pretty terrifying) but rather it's age. Modern humans first appeared about a quarter of a million years ago, the first hominids are millions of years old but this T-Rex, or at least the T-Rex this replica is based on, is so old that even in relative terms those first humans were no closer to it in time than I am. And yet even the dinosaurs are youngsters as far as existence is concerned, in the display next to it are fossils of the first fish which are even more ancient, at the other end of the museum hall are meteorites that are possibly as old or older than the earth itself. And even the earth is young, it has been around for just a fragment of existence. Looking at it doesn't inspire awe or terror, it inspires a feeling of insignificance.
Also it's pelvis is pretty confusing. What's going on there?
_________________________________
The Ferry
Ferries! The buses of the sea. What a joy to travel from shore to shore in a glorified social club slash bingo hall. Oh ferry an hour is too short a time to take in all of your delights. The overpriced coffee! The foreign TV! I can't tell what the news is but we are on the ferry, how can it be bad? Lean over the edge of the top deck for the most powerful exfoliant! Tourists and commuters, the decks are full. Have you ever been on a ferry... on WEED? Those gentlemen at the front have! What a wild ride.
_________________________________
Sunglasses
I don't wear sunglasses. I don't even own any. It's not that I have anything in general against them, its just that I don't really feel they suit me. Maybe they just remind me of when I had to wear glasses? Or maybe I know that I would just lose or break them. One thing I am opposed to though is wearing them indoors. Sunglasses indoors are extremely off-putting.
Right now I'm in an airport departure lounge and the guy in front of me is wearing sunglasses indoors, really dark ones so I can't see his eyes. Most likely he is just sleeping but on the other hand he might be STARING STRAIGHT AT ME. No one needs that. He is moving around too much for a sleeping guy too. I've been told that without sunglasses you can get crows feet from squinting at the sun. But indoors? No need.
Oh god now he has slouched down and is kind of thrusting his crotch at me. This is Terrible
_________________________________
So there you go, a glimpse into my notebook and the inner workings of my mind. I hope you enjoyed it.
It's also handy because when I'm stumped for things to talk about I can flick through the notebook and usually find something, or at least find a bit of inspiration. The same thing goes for writing and quite a lot of the things I'm planning on talking about in this blog come from things I've jotted down in my notebooks at some point or another. Obviously not all the stuff in there I want to share, some of it is quite personal, some of it would probably be pretty boring to anyone who isn't me, some of it is horribly mopey and introspective to the extent that even I get embarrassed when I read it, and of course some of it will one day form the basis of that novel I'm going to write that will make me the most respected author of my generation. No seriously. Stop laughing.
But in addition to all of the above there are a few that I want to share with the world but which I probably couldn't stretch out to make an entire worthwhile blog post. So here for the first time are a few of those scribblings, exposed to the world in as close as I could reasonably get to their original form.
_________________________________
Thoughts on a T-Rex, which is not actually real but is in fact a replica made of plaster
Also it's pelvis is pretty confusing. What's going on there?
_________________________________
The Ferry
Ferries! The buses of the sea. What a joy to travel from shore to shore in a glorified social club slash bingo hall. Oh ferry an hour is too short a time to take in all of your delights. The overpriced coffee! The foreign TV! I can't tell what the news is but we are on the ferry, how can it be bad? Lean over the edge of the top deck for the most powerful exfoliant! Tourists and commuters, the decks are full. Have you ever been on a ferry... on WEED? Those gentlemen at the front have! What a wild ride.
_________________________________
Sunglasses
I don't wear sunglasses. I don't even own any. It's not that I have anything in general against them, its just that I don't really feel they suit me. Maybe they just remind me of when I had to wear glasses? Or maybe I know that I would just lose or break them. One thing I am opposed to though is wearing them indoors. Sunglasses indoors are extremely off-putting.
Oh god now he has slouched down and is kind of thrusting his crotch at me. This is Terrible
_________________________________
So there you go, a glimpse into my notebook and the inner workings of my mind. I hope you enjoyed it.
Wednesday 7 December 2011
Midweek Music Update
I was going to post this earlier but my internet got cut off so I couldn’t do anything online. Honestly it was probably the hardest eight or so hours of my life #firstworldproblems. It wasn’t a complete write off though because, as you can see, without any distractions I was able to work on my ace new site background. Now I just need to make the title bar at the top look as awesome.
If I’m on my computer at midnight then I usually post a midnight music update either on twitter or facebook with a link to what I’m listening to. The midweek music update is kind of the same thing; what I’ve been listening to this week and why it rocks my world or not. If I think I can get away with it (basically when the band or the record company themselves have uploaded it) I’ll also post a youtube link or some such so you can also listen to the song.
Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks
I don’t know what the deal was but it seemed that for most of this week Radio 6 decided to play the new Stephen Malkmus single every single day at the exact same time as my radio alarm went off, and because it’s impossible to get out of bed before the first song finishes I have had this stuck in my head all week.
Luckily I actually enjoy this song. One weird thing about it though, and again this might just be because of how I heard it, is that I actually kind of prefer the radio edit where “blow job” is replaced by “snow job”. Especially when you’re watching the music video it just seems to work better.
Beth Jeans Houghton
This has been a repeating thing over the last couple of months, I just really like her stuff and am actually looking forward quite a bit to her first proper album which is out next year. My bold prediction is that by this time next year she will have firmly taken her place as the new new (new?) Kate Bush, and hopefully she will have unseated the current holder of the title of most talked about triple barrel named songstress who I will only ever call Ol’ Duck Lips.
Only point going against her obviously is that she is younger than me and talented people who are younger than me always make me feel I am wasting my life. Here is her single anyway.
De La Soul
Midweek music update is not just about new music, but also old music. This is because I am incredibly lame and know nothing about new music BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY because old music is great and you kids just don’t understand. Get of my lawn.
I am actually listening to 3 Feet High and Rising as I am writing this and it just sounds so good I couldn’t not mention it. My brother made me a copy of the album when I was a teenager using some really lame CD ripping software which seemed to cut off the very end of each track, but it still sounded amazing and probably made me realise that I actually enjoyed hip hop. My favourite track on the album is probably “Jenifa Taught Me” which is also the best song about losing virginity ever so listen to that why don’t you.
Duke Ellington
Oh you thought I wouldn’t get more old school than De La Soul? Don’t be ridiculous. I make no apologies for my love big band music and Duke Ellington was the master. I posted this as one of my midnight music updates earlier in the week but I think it deserves you listening to it again, because it’s one of the greatest and most evocative pieces of music ever recorded in my opinion.
Shonen Knife
Okay lets jump back to the (sort of) present then. I’ve been listening to a lot of Japanese music this week for some reason and one of my all time favourite Japanese bands ever are Shonen Knife. I mean just listen to this track. I think it’s literally impossible not to dance around to it. Or at the very least bop your head around a bit.
So that was my week in music, I hope you enjoyed it. Please send your thoughts and opinions about this post and also my new background in a stamped self addressed envelope.
If I’m on my computer at midnight then I usually post a midnight music update either on twitter or facebook with a link to what I’m listening to. The midweek music update is kind of the same thing; what I’ve been listening to this week and why it rocks my world or not. If I think I can get away with it (basically when the band or the record company themselves have uploaded it) I’ll also post a youtube link or some such so you can also listen to the song.
Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks
I don’t know what the deal was but it seemed that for most of this week Radio 6 decided to play the new Stephen Malkmus single every single day at the exact same time as my radio alarm went off, and because it’s impossible to get out of bed before the first song finishes I have had this stuck in my head all week.
Luckily I actually enjoy this song. One weird thing about it though, and again this might just be because of how I heard it, is that I actually kind of prefer the radio edit where “blow job” is replaced by “snow job”. Especially when you’re watching the music video it just seems to work better.
Beth Jeans Houghton
This has been a repeating thing over the last couple of months, I just really like her stuff and am actually looking forward quite a bit to her first proper album which is out next year. My bold prediction is that by this time next year she will have firmly taken her place as the new new (new?) Kate Bush, and hopefully she will have unseated the current holder of the title of most talked about triple barrel named songstress who I will only ever call Ol’ Duck Lips.
Only point going against her obviously is that she is younger than me and talented people who are younger than me always make me feel I am wasting my life. Here is her single anyway.
De La Soul
Midweek music update is not just about new music, but also old music. This is because I am incredibly lame and know nothing about new music BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY because old music is great and you kids just don’t understand. Get of my lawn.
I am actually listening to 3 Feet High and Rising as I am writing this and it just sounds so good I couldn’t not mention it. My brother made me a copy of the album when I was a teenager using some really lame CD ripping software which seemed to cut off the very end of each track, but it still sounded amazing and probably made me realise that I actually enjoyed hip hop. My favourite track on the album is probably “Jenifa Taught Me” which is also the best song about losing virginity ever so listen to that why don’t you.
Duke Ellington
Oh you thought I wouldn’t get more old school than De La Soul? Don’t be ridiculous. I make no apologies for my love big band music and Duke Ellington was the master. I posted this as one of my midnight music updates earlier in the week but I think it deserves you listening to it again, because it’s one of the greatest and most evocative pieces of music ever recorded in my opinion.
Shonen Knife
Okay lets jump back to the (sort of) present then. I’ve been listening to a lot of Japanese music this week for some reason and one of my all time favourite Japanese bands ever are Shonen Knife. I mean just listen to this track. I think it’s literally impossible not to dance around to it. Or at the very least bop your head around a bit.
So that was my week in music, I hope you enjoyed it. Please send your thoughts and opinions about this post and also my new background in a stamped self addressed envelope.
Tuesday 6 December 2011
ANGER TUESDAY
It's Tuesday, it's time to get angry. Those of you who follow me on twitter might be aware of my current drive to promote ANGER TUESDAY (the capitals are important), and at heart it's pretty simple: we take one day a week and just be angry in it. But as with all things I do this wasn't just some random joke I cam up with on the fly, a lot of thought went into it. Angry angry thought.
First off, why Tuesday? Well personally I think it's obvious that Tuesday is the angriest day of the week, you've got the built up anger from Monday, and it's not even Wednesday so you can't even say that at least you're half way through. Some people have suggested that Thursday is the angriest day of the week but this is clearly ridiculous as Thursday is actually the most boring day of the week. No I will not be showing my research notes.
The reason for picking Tuesday also works into the rest of the idea, because I bet at this point you are saying "but Geraint you get angry about stuff all the time not just Tuesday". Yes I realise this but don't you understand that I want to change? And we all love change don't we? So eventually I will be able to safely bottle up all my anger and release it in one sudden volcanic outburst on a Tuesday. What could possibly go wrong with that? Nothing. I will be the chilled out guy you all love to love 6 days of the week and you will know to avoid me on a Tuesday, and Tuesday is the earliest you can reasonably get it out of the way anyway. See I thought this all through!
And finally with me as a shining example of my new philosophy we can move forward to a work where we are all happy friendly people for 6 days and have 1 day when we just keep out of everyone's way because we are all pissed off. Because to be honest nothing ruins a good mood than finding out that someone else is angry. But if we're all angry? A recipe for a perfect world.
So this Tuesday I implore you all, stick on something loud and angry (I personally consider the Dead Kennedy's perfect ANGER TUESDAY listening), scream your woes at the top of your voice in public places, rant and rave to your friends and scowl at strangers. With all that you are almost guaranteed a happy problem filled week from then on.
On a serious note here is something you should legitimately be getting angry about this ANGER TUESDAY. The government is pushing through plans to force chemotherapy patients to go through very stressful tests to prove they are not fit to work. This is clearly both insane and disgusting. You can find more details and a petition against these moves by following this link please read up, sign the petition and get angry.
And see this is why ANGER TUESDAY is a good thing, if you're angry about stuff maybe you'll get other people angry about it and perhaps do something to make it better, it's worth a try. Now I'm going to go punch a horse in the face.
First off, why Tuesday? Well personally I think it's obvious that Tuesday is the angriest day of the week, you've got the built up anger from Monday, and it's not even Wednesday so you can't even say that at least you're half way through. Some people have suggested that Thursday is the angriest day of the week but this is clearly ridiculous as Thursday is actually the most boring day of the week. No I will not be showing my research notes.
The reason for picking Tuesday also works into the rest of the idea, because I bet at this point you are saying "but Geraint you get angry about stuff all the time not just Tuesday". Yes I realise this but don't you understand that I want to change? And we all love change don't we? So eventually I will be able to safely bottle up all my anger and release it in one sudden volcanic outburst on a Tuesday. What could possibly go wrong with that? Nothing. I will be the chilled out guy you all love to love 6 days of the week and you will know to avoid me on a Tuesday, and Tuesday is the earliest you can reasonably get it out of the way anyway. See I thought this all through!
And finally with me as a shining example of my new philosophy we can move forward to a work where we are all happy friendly people for 6 days and have 1 day when we just keep out of everyone's way because we are all pissed off. Because to be honest nothing ruins a good mood than finding out that someone else is angry. But if we're all angry? A recipe for a perfect world.
So this Tuesday I implore you all, stick on something loud and angry (I personally consider the Dead Kennedy's perfect ANGER TUESDAY listening), scream your woes at the top of your voice in public places, rant and rave to your friends and scowl at strangers. With all that you are almost guaranteed a happy problem filled week from then on.
On a serious note here is something you should legitimately be getting angry about this ANGER TUESDAY. The government is pushing through plans to force chemotherapy patients to go through very stressful tests to prove they are not fit to work. This is clearly both insane and disgusting. You can find more details and a petition against these moves by following this link please read up, sign the petition and get angry.
And see this is why ANGER TUESDAY is a good thing, if you're angry about stuff maybe you'll get other people angry about it and perhaps do something to make it better, it's worth a try. Now I'm going to go punch a horse in the face.
Sunday 4 December 2011
A Week in Gluttony
I've been eating out a fair ammount this week which is odd, especially considering as I'm unemployed and as such don't have any money. But if there are two things I love to talk about its food and how fucking poor I am, plus a couple of the meals I had this week were stuff I had never eaten before. This is particularly weird as I have eaten A LOT, so finding new food is always a delight and totally something you, dear reader, want to hear about.
Ethiopian food at Habesha
On Tuesday night I went out for Ethiopian food with my lovely chums Nija, Joe and Gemma. It's always great to see them and to be honest I was pretty excited for Ethiopian food because not only had I never eaten it before but I'd never even heard of it so had absolutely no idea of what to expect. Habesha is a little restaurant just off of Canal Street and you already know its excellent when you walk in. This is because to get to Habesha you first have to go into a kebab shop downstairs and then climb some stairs in the middle of the room to get up to the restaurant. Sleaziness of this level is always a sign of either excellent food to come or horrifying gastric problems, a gamble I was more than prepared to take.
Even before you start eating the place is pretty amazing, there are East African decorations on the walls, a traditional Ethiopian dining set up which is kind of hard to explain but looks awesome (there are also normal tables, and we were at one of those). The music is kick ass being what I can only describe as African psyche, and if you don't think that's amazing I don't know what to say. In the corner is a TV which when we came in was showing Eritrean TV, with what looked to be some sort of memorial show or something being stage invaded by a man with an air freshener. To drink we shared a bottle of Ethiopian wine which to be honest wasn't that great but was saved by the label which proudly announced that it had won a 1980 East German wine competition as well as another award that looked like it was Russian.
With the scene set I will now describe the food and it's aftermath. Me and Joe shared a vegetarian and a lamb dish. The vegetarian portion, which contains a variety of things lentil based (so a bit like dhal) are served on a massive sour dough pancake, the lamb was a sort of curry which tasted strongly of tamarind. As well as this each of us got a basket filled with more of the sour dough pancakes as well as a bowl of incredibly strong spice (and possibly MSG). I've got to say that it was delicious and to be honest I appreciate any meal which you eat entirely with your hands, especially when shared with a group of friends.
There was one issue though. It was incredibly filling. TO the extend that I honestly don't know if I have ever been so full in my life. To give you and idea of how full I was, I woke up the morning after and I was still full and didn't need to eat until about 9pm the next evening. It was a food hangover and I feel everyone should get at least one of those. So eat Ethiopian food but also probably don't eat for a while before and after so you have enough room for a stomach packed with sour dough. I will definitely go again though even at the risk exploding.
Chinese Hot Pot at Tai Pan
Just this evening I went out for a farewell party for my good friend Dory who is moving to Singapore next week, and to say goodbye we went to Tai Pan on Upper Brook street. Tai Pan is a pretty decent Chinese restaurant and is (in my experience) especially good for Dim Sum because it's both delicious and, if you time it right, very decently priced. Word of warning though if you go to Tai Pan you need someone who speaks Chinese, every time I've been there I've needed a Chinese person to read the menu and order the food and I honestly don't know how you'd actually cope otherwise.
So anyway onto the hot pot. Now when I hear hot pot I immediately put the word "lancashire" in front of it. I was assured that a Chinese hot pot is different but to be perfectly honest it's much the same beast. Get a bunch of people and a pot full of boiling water and chuck a bunch of meat and stuff in the pot until it's cooked. Simple as. Obviously the sauce we were dropping stuff into was Chinese tasting and there was a lot of seafood but the principle is the same. There were 12 of us there and to save money we only ordered enough for 10, knowing that Tai Pan gives fairly generous portions anyway. They gave us enough for about 20. I am not kiddding when I say that we were dealing with an actual mountain, or perhaps even a mountain range, of food. I mean I was already feeling pretty gluttonous having dealt with the Ethiopian earlier in the week but I think after this I am basically not going to be allowed to eat for a week.
All told hot pot was a lot of fun, communally cooking stuff and trying to work out what the hell half of the raw food we were given is definitely fun. It's pretty messy though and I honestly felt really bad about the ammount of food we had left (I would say that we probably only ate about half of what we were given). A couple of us were saying that really to do it right you would probably need to commit most of a day to it, and nice as Tai Pan is I don't think I want to spend that much time in there. It was well priced considering what we got and knowing how much they gave us this time I would say that you could get a very good meal out of it for only about £7.
So there you go, the highlights of what has been a week of overeating. Join me next week as I try to live on nothing but toast!
Ethiopian food at Habesha
On Tuesday night I went out for Ethiopian food with my lovely chums Nija, Joe and Gemma. It's always great to see them and to be honest I was pretty excited for Ethiopian food because not only had I never eaten it before but I'd never even heard of it so had absolutely no idea of what to expect. Habesha is a little restaurant just off of Canal Street and you already know its excellent when you walk in. This is because to get to Habesha you first have to go into a kebab shop downstairs and then climb some stairs in the middle of the room to get up to the restaurant. Sleaziness of this level is always a sign of either excellent food to come or horrifying gastric problems, a gamble I was more than prepared to take.
Even before you start eating the place is pretty amazing, there are East African decorations on the walls, a traditional Ethiopian dining set up which is kind of hard to explain but looks awesome (there are also normal tables, and we were at one of those). The music is kick ass being what I can only describe as African psyche, and if you don't think that's amazing I don't know what to say. In the corner is a TV which when we came in was showing Eritrean TV, with what looked to be some sort of memorial show or something being stage invaded by a man with an air freshener. To drink we shared a bottle of Ethiopian wine which to be honest wasn't that great but was saved by the label which proudly announced that it had won a 1980 East German wine competition as well as another award that looked like it was Russian.
With the scene set I will now describe the food and it's aftermath. Me and Joe shared a vegetarian and a lamb dish. The vegetarian portion, which contains a variety of things lentil based (so a bit like dhal) are served on a massive sour dough pancake, the lamb was a sort of curry which tasted strongly of tamarind. As well as this each of us got a basket filled with more of the sour dough pancakes as well as a bowl of incredibly strong spice (and possibly MSG). I've got to say that it was delicious and to be honest I appreciate any meal which you eat entirely with your hands, especially when shared with a group of friends.
There was one issue though. It was incredibly filling. TO the extend that I honestly don't know if I have ever been so full in my life. To give you and idea of how full I was, I woke up the morning after and I was still full and didn't need to eat until about 9pm the next evening. It was a food hangover and I feel everyone should get at least one of those. So eat Ethiopian food but also probably don't eat for a while before and after so you have enough room for a stomach packed with sour dough. I will definitely go again though even at the risk exploding.
Chinese Hot Pot at Tai Pan
Just this evening I went out for a farewell party for my good friend Dory who is moving to Singapore next week, and to say goodbye we went to Tai Pan on Upper Brook street. Tai Pan is a pretty decent Chinese restaurant and is (in my experience) especially good for Dim Sum because it's both delicious and, if you time it right, very decently priced. Word of warning though if you go to Tai Pan you need someone who speaks Chinese, every time I've been there I've needed a Chinese person to read the menu and order the food and I honestly don't know how you'd actually cope otherwise.
So anyway onto the hot pot. Now when I hear hot pot I immediately put the word "lancashire" in front of it. I was assured that a Chinese hot pot is different but to be perfectly honest it's much the same beast. Get a bunch of people and a pot full of boiling water and chuck a bunch of meat and stuff in the pot until it's cooked. Simple as. Obviously the sauce we were dropping stuff into was Chinese tasting and there was a lot of seafood but the principle is the same. There were 12 of us there and to save money we only ordered enough for 10, knowing that Tai Pan gives fairly generous portions anyway. They gave us enough for about 20. I am not kiddding when I say that we were dealing with an actual mountain, or perhaps even a mountain range, of food. I mean I was already feeling pretty gluttonous having dealt with the Ethiopian earlier in the week but I think after this I am basically not going to be allowed to eat for a week.
All told hot pot was a lot of fun, communally cooking stuff and trying to work out what the hell half of the raw food we were given is definitely fun. It's pretty messy though and I honestly felt really bad about the ammount of food we had left (I would say that we probably only ate about half of what we were given). A couple of us were saying that really to do it right you would probably need to commit most of a day to it, and nice as Tai Pan is I don't think I want to spend that much time in there. It was well priced considering what we got and knowing how much they gave us this time I would say that you could get a very good meal out of it for only about £7.
So there you go, the highlights of what has been a week of overeating. Join me next week as I try to live on nothing but toast!
Saturday 3 December 2011
What is the Deal with the Dogs? or: Why I Hate External Hardrives
As you might have noticed this blog already features quite a lot of pictures in a genre I like to call "Dogs Smoking Pipes". In fact, here have the first dog smoking a pipe picture I ever saw and the keystone of the entire collection. In this one the dog is celebrating his birthday with his owner's kids. 
As anyone who already follows me on twitter, google plus or facebook I am kind of obsessed with these photos. At the latest count I have a collection of 21 pictures (though I'm always on the lookout for more). As anyone who has been on the internet for about a minute knows people just love dressing up animals as people, or robots, or other animals, or anything that isn't a dog. Basically people just love putting shit that doesn't belong on an animal onto on animals. But there is just something about giving them a pipe that makes it even more hilarious. I guess it's because the dog is kind of actively involved in the whole thing. You put clothes on a dog and it just has to put up with it, you give it a pipe and it could drop it, but instead dogs have apparently for hundreds of years gone along with the whole stupid joke and held pipes in their mouths and calmly posed while their owners take photos. And I'm serious when I mean hundreds of years. Most of the photos I've found are in black and white and a few of them look like they are about as old as the birth of photography. Seriously dogs are awesome and are our eternal partners in doing pointless hilarious crap. Dogs are the truest of bros.
You would be wrong though to think though that pictures of pipe smoking dogs are my entire deal when it come to collecting stupid pictures. I guess my first one was pretty similar in that it was based on this photo of a walrus at a Japanese zoo pretending to use a toy phone. So there was an early tendency towards animals pretending to be people.
Now there aren't so many pictures of walruses on phones. Or at least there weren't. For the first year or so I was in university I dedicated an inordinate amount of time to getting cartoonists and artists across the internet to draw their own interpretations of what a walrus on a phone should look like. I had happy walruses, sad walruses, walruses at payphones, walruses using blue tooth headsets. I had it all! And then I saved the walrus collection and all the other collections I had built up onto my new external hard drive (see I mentioned this part in the alternate title for this post! That's called foreshadowing).
At the time that seemed like a good idea, it saved space on my computer and meant I could take the photos to other people and show them my awesome collection of stuff if they would give me half a second to show them. Unfortunately my hard drive was a lump of shit, it was constantly freezing up and turning itself off without telling me. It was a tiny electronic jerk who hated everything I was trying to do and then one day in a final act of betrayal it just stopped working and I lost everything. My collection of walrus cartoons, my assortment of 50s pulp magazine covers, my surprisingly extensive collection of east African homophobic newspaper covers, it was all gone and the dream was over. Actually I should probably explain that last one a bit unless you get the wrong idea. I don't agree with the sentiment of the homophobic newspapers, I just enjoyed their over the top and confused descriptions of sodomy. With those lost I can never again laugh at a tabloid crying out in distress about men being "savaged by a sinful man's monster whopper" or whispered gossip about "all night bum parties".
And so all I am left with is a group of photos of dog's smoking pipes a thin ray of light in an otherwise bleak and joyless world. I hope that this little cautionary tale (if you didn't pick up on it I was cautioning against cheap electronics and dicking around on the internet when you actually have more important stuff to do, and you do lets face it) you have learnt a little bit about me and how my mind works. I also felt I should just get this whole thing out of the way and off my chest so I can talk about things other people might actually give a damn about.
Now there aren't so many pictures of walruses on phones. Or at least there weren't. For the first year or so I was in university I dedicated an inordinate amount of time to getting cartoonists and artists across the internet to draw their own interpretations of what a walrus on a phone should look like. I had happy walruses, sad walruses, walruses at payphones, walruses using blue tooth headsets. I had it all! And then I saved the walrus collection and all the other collections I had built up onto my new external hard drive (see I mentioned this part in the alternate title for this post! That's called foreshadowing).
At the time that seemed like a good idea, it saved space on my computer and meant I could take the photos to other people and show them my awesome collection of stuff if they would give me half a second to show them. Unfortunately my hard drive was a lump of shit, it was constantly freezing up and turning itself off without telling me. It was a tiny electronic jerk who hated everything I was trying to do and then one day in a final act of betrayal it just stopped working and I lost everything. My collection of walrus cartoons, my assortment of 50s pulp magazine covers, my surprisingly extensive collection of east African homophobic newspaper covers, it was all gone and the dream was over. Actually I should probably explain that last one a bit unless you get the wrong idea. I don't agree with the sentiment of the homophobic newspapers, I just enjoyed their over the top and confused descriptions of sodomy. With those lost I can never again laugh at a tabloid crying out in distress about men being "savaged by a sinful man's monster whopper" or whispered gossip about "all night bum parties".
And so all I am left with is a group of photos of dog's smoking pipes a thin ray of light in an otherwise bleak and joyless world. I hope that this little cautionary tale (if you didn't pick up on it I was cautioning against cheap electronics and dicking around on the internet when you actually have more important stuff to do, and you do lets face it) you have learnt a little bit about me and how my mind works. I also felt I should just get this whole thing out of the way and off my chest so I can talk about things other people might actually give a damn about.
Thursday 1 December 2011
I'm a man with a fork in a world of soup
I was 20 years old when I last wrote a blog, I'm 22 now but I won't be for long. Yes it seems, and indeed, is an age since I last wrote a blog post, and since that point I have been coming up with excuse after excuse not to do it again, but I finally had to admit that actually I quite enjoyed posting things and forcing the rest of the world to read them. I'd like to think that I could come back to my world of soup and awe you all with my pondering and musings now that I was little bit older and a little bit wiser. First problem: logging in.
I had forgotten my password.
added to that I had forgotten which e-mail address I had actually used to make the blog so couldn't even recover my password.
My terrible memory and incompetence had given me breathing space, a chance to reconsider my bold choice of returning to that sphere which I both loathed and hated (perhaps also loved (but not very much)). But no matter how far I ran, how deep I buried my head in the sand I could not escape, I kept being drawn back in. I made cool new friends with cool blogs and the like (see: http://atlsyd.blogspot.com/, http://www.anewbandaday.com/) and old cool friends were making new cool blogs (http://theresgoingtobetrouble.blogspot.com/). My new attachment to my old enemy twitter and the bombardment of information that went along with that just made the decision more likely. I had to come back.
And so here you find me. I know the blog looks hyper lame at the moment, but I'm unemployed (more on that later NO DOUBT) and have enough time to make some cool backgrounds and graphics and what have you. In the meantime you can check out the meagre scraps of my old blog, preserved for perpetuity along with a picture of me in my longer haired days drinking some red wine with a straw http://manwithaforkinaworldofsoup.blogspot.com/ (the final post I made is the weakest one so I'd recommend skipping it)
Also this time I totally intend to use more pictures because the wall of text approach isn't all that awesome. In fact here have one now
It's a photo of a dog with a pipe in it's mouth, which is something I'm kind of obsessed with. I'm sure that'll come up at a later date as well. I'm also probably going to use the blog to get into a bit more depth about ANGER TUESDAY (the movement that will soon sweep the nation and probably the world) and my midnight music updates, as well as all the other interesting crap I spend my life thinking about.
My name is Geraint Thomas, and welcome to my Tapestry of Filth.
I had forgotten my password.
added to that I had forgotten which e-mail address I had actually used to make the blog so couldn't even recover my password.
My terrible memory and incompetence had given me breathing space, a chance to reconsider my bold choice of returning to that sphere which I both loathed and hated (perhaps also loved (but not very much)). But no matter how far I ran, how deep I buried my head in the sand I could not escape, I kept being drawn back in. I made cool new friends with cool blogs and the like (see: http://atlsyd.blogspot.com/, http://www.anewbandaday.com/) and old cool friends were making new cool blogs (http://theresgoingtobetrouble.blogspot.com/). My new attachment to my old enemy twitter and the bombardment of information that went along with that just made the decision more likely. I had to come back.
And so here you find me. I know the blog looks hyper lame at the moment, but I'm unemployed (more on that later NO DOUBT) and have enough time to make some cool backgrounds and graphics and what have you. In the meantime you can check out the meagre scraps of my old blog, preserved for perpetuity along with a picture of me in my longer haired days drinking some red wine with a straw http://manwithaforkinaworldofsoup.blogspot.com/ (the final post I made is the weakest one so I'd recommend skipping it)
Also this time I totally intend to use more pictures because the wall of text approach isn't all that awesome. In fact here have one now
It's a photo of a dog with a pipe in it's mouth, which is something I'm kind of obsessed with. I'm sure that'll come up at a later date as well. I'm also probably going to use the blog to get into a bit more depth about ANGER TUESDAY (the movement that will soon sweep the nation and probably the world) and my midnight music updates, as well as all the other interesting crap I spend my life thinking about.
My name is Geraint Thomas, and welcome to my Tapestry of Filth.
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